Friday, April 8, 2011

Marriage, simplicity, and parenting

The past few months Ben and I have really been focusing on a few areas of life we are seeking the Lord’s guidance and wisdom. We have committed to praying for these things together weekly. They are: strengthening our marriage, parenting well, and simplifying life. We have thought of some great ways to focus on our marriage this semester (i.e. “couchtime” daily= eye to eye communication even if only 10 minutes/day, swapping date nights with a neighbor and going out of the house, ect.). We took a parenting class in January together and read Shepharding a Child’s Heart and Grace Based Parenting. Two very good books with slightly different philosophies. The twins have really gotten into wanting to know their boundaries, and pushing my limits. We have been seeking God’s wisdom on how to discipline and love them well. They are so different- different needs, personalities, and love languages. Abigail often feels neglected just because Aiden is much needier, whinier, and cries louder than she. I am seeking creative ways to allow me time with each child. I am putting together a development plan for them this year on some things I want to purpose to teach them and how I want to do it (using Slow and Steady Get Me Ready). Ben and I have been discussing discipline a lot- what are the things that are worth it (I could say no all day long…), how to be extremely consistent, what method we will use on each child (spanking/time out, ect.) and many other things. I have basically been on my knees daily (multiple times throughout the day), begging God for wisdom on what to do next and He has been so sweet to answer me. One of the biggest things I am learning is to treat our children the way God treats us. Sometimes he disciplines us, but sometimes he shows us grace. It has helped to think through their greatest needs. Grace based parenting lays out the child’s needs as: need for security, significance, and strength. We meet these needs by giving them love, purpose, and hope. Still deciding if I completely agree with that, but the Lord is teaching me how to care for their hearts.

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