Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Brokenhearted



After many babygrams, xrays, ultrasounds, and other tests, the dr.’s still had no idea as to why Abigail is not tolerating food. They started feeding Abigail again on Saturday in order to get stool samples to test for an allergy. They were hoping after all the tests that possibly it was just immaturity of the bowels causing her belly to swell and become so distended and that this time she would tolerate it. Last night (Mon pm) they called us to say they had to stop her feeds again. We went in today and met with the neonatal specialists. He believes she has an obstruction of the bowels- which can only be fixed with surgery. However, at this point they cannot tell where the obstruction is (& have no hard evidence that’s what it is) & cannot do surgery until they can pinpoint it. The danger with surgery is that 1- she’s a one month old in unstable condition and 2- it causes scar tissue which can cause more blockage which would need to be fixed w/ more surgeries. He tried to prepare us by acknowledging our frustration now- and saying it will probably only get worse as we continue to walk through this. She will probably be in the hospital for 2 more months (devastating for mommy and daddy to hear) if everything were to go well. He is working w/ a GI specialists & and now a pediatric surgeon to try to understand what is going on with her. While we were there today I watched them start an IV ten times in her feet, arms, and head. Every time they stuck her, her tiny veins would blow. She has bruises and wounds all over her from all the IV’s, PIC lines, blood samples, and test they’ve done on her. She looks horrible. As I listened to her piercing cry and watched them hold her down to stick her once again, the verse the Lord brought to mind was “He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities, upon him was the punishment that brought us peace, and by His stripes we are healed.” My heart is broken over my little girls suffering and the thought of possibly losing her, and as I sat in the NICU and wept I was baffled more than ever that the Lord crushed His only son for a sinner like me. It must have brought Him such grief and pain. I wish so badly that I could take it for her, that I could be sick instead of her, but I can’t. There is nothing I can do to make it better- which is one of the hardest things. Ben and I are heartbroken, and sometimes we feel like we are drowning, but we cling to the One who is carrying us and petition for a miracle. Our prayer is that the Lord would divinely intervene and heal her fragile body. That no surgery would be necessary and she would miraculously begin to tolerate feedings. Please join with us in this prayer. If it be God’s will for surgery, please pray the dr.’s will have wisdom, find the blockage easily, and be able to treat it effectively.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name, you are mine. when you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and the waves, they will not overcome you….” Isaiah 43

10 comments:

Janine said...

Oh, Katie. I have been following for quite some time, not sure of what to say or how to comment. And still, I don't have words that fit the situation and what you and your family are going through. I just want you to know that you are all in my prayers and I pray that God gives you and your little one strength to keep fighting and keep going. God bless you all.

Erika said...

My prayers are with you. Janine brought your story to my attention and your courage and reliance on the Lord is truly inspiring!

AltHeatGuy said...

My daughter, Erika, went to Murray with Janine. I was forwarded an email concerning your journey. Let me say first of all, that you are a wonderful family who truly walks with Him. I have alerted the pro-life community in our area and I am sure that your little one and her family will be raised up in prayer by many, many people! 'Have faith in the Lord, for He is good, His mercy endures forever!'

Birgit Jones, Owensboro

Amy said...

Katie my heart hurts for you right now. Just know that God loves you - He loves you so much and know that He is the great physician and that we can bodly approach His throne and with confidence ask for her healing. We are praying for you.

Crystal Hardin said...

Katie, I have been following for some time now. I rejoiced with the birth of your twins and feel sadness now over your daughter's condition. I keep you and your family in my thoughts and will continue to do so.

Emily Little said...

I can not begin to imagine what you are going through. I have no idea what to comment. All I know to say is that me and Ryan have been praying for your precious family and will continue. As a mother, my heart aches over what you must be feeling.

Jody said...

I have been in constant prayer for you, Ben, and your precious little miracles. I pray for their strength and healing, the doctors' wisdom, and their rest. I've also been praying for your marriage, that you have the right words of encouragement for each other, that your love for each other bear fruit of kindness and gentleness. God is being greatly glorified in your trial. You are proving to a watching world daily that He enables His children to persevere victoriously.

I'd like to do more than pray. Is there a schedule for helping at your house with Aiden, or cleaning, or running errands? If not, would you like help organizing a help schedule and filling it? I can't imagine you've had much time to even think of what might be helpful, but I know that lots of folks would love to help.

May you both lie down and sleep in peace; for He alone makes you and your little ones dwell in safety. (Ps 4:8).

Bruce & Tonya said...

Ben and Katie,
Our hearts go out to you. You are in our prayers for the doctors to find the problem and fix it, preferably without surgery. We will keep you in our hearts and our prayers. I feel a since of confidence that all will go well and you will all be home soon happy and healthy as ever. God Bless you one and all.

Demetrius and Amy said...

From one mommy to another- my heart is breaking with yours. I know you are devastated and broken. longing for your baby girl to be comfortable and safe in your arms. We'll continue to pray for a miracle.

Amy said...

Katie, I just found your blog and got updated on your precious babies. I hurt for you and will be lifting you up in prayer.
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed; for His compassions never fail they are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23